I love Halloween, but I hate scary movies. So if you’re like me, good news, there are Halloween films for you! Here is my list of Halloween movies guaranteed not to give you nightmares.
Kathy Najimy, Bette Midler & Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus
Hocus Pocus, 1993
The Divine Miss M has called this her favourite film of her own and with good reason. She, along with co-stars Kathy Nijimy and Sarah Jessica Parker are hilarious as three Salem witches who come back to life in 1993 for one night (of course Halloween) to wreak havoc and eat as many children as possible. Just one catch, they didn’t count on having to do battle with some savvy teenagers and their talking black cat, not to mention modern technology. Watch it on Amazon instant video.
Rachel True, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell & Robin Tunney in The Craft
The Craft, 1996
Fairuza Balk and Robin Tunney star in this hilarious take on 90s teen politics, with witchcraft added into the mix. The two battle it out to see if the natural witch or the dark witch will ultimately hold power. Fairuza Balk creates her character’s antics as no other actor could and is in turns both hilarious and thoroughly off putting. The added benefit of watching the film now is that humour exists where it may not have originally been intended, yes I am looking at you Skeet. Watch it on Amazon instant video.
Meryl Streep & Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her
Death Becomes Her, 1992
Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn star in this dark comedy about two “friends”. After decades of rivalry both women decide to magically stop the aging process; with consequences neither could have anticipated. Hijinx ensue as the pair learn that the other has had the same process, and as they compete for the affection of one man. Bonus: if you never thought you’d hear the words neurotic and hysterical in the same sentence as Bruce Willis, this film is sure to delight you. Watch it on Amazon instant video.
Scary Movie(s), 2000
This parody from the Wayans brothers replaced horror with hilarity and screams of terror with side splitting laughter. The film combines plot elements from a number of the popular teen horror films of the 90s, primarily Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. It’s low brow and immature, but also has moments of great pop culture parody, and helps diffuse the terror that other actual horror films can engender; always a plus for me! Watch it on Amazon instant video.
Catherine O’Hara in Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice, 1988
My favourite Tim Burton movie features Michael Keaton as an eccentric “bio-exorcist” helping ghosts Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin rid their house of the tacky and horrible new inhabitants. But, he has his own agenda, and soon enough the recently deceased couple are having to battle him too. Every character is hilarious in their own right but Michael Keaton and Catherine O’Hara are at the top of their game in this film. Watch it on Amazon instant video.
The Addams Family/Addams Family Values, 1991/1993
These films starring Anjelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Raul Julia are a hilarious re-imagining of the popular 1960s TV series of the same name. In these 90s updates the Addams family is still just as out of step with the rest of the world, preferring instead to live dark death obsessed lives in their gothic mansion. The all star cast is brilliantly over the top, but monotone Christina Ricci as Wednesday steals the show with her endlessly negative stream of one liners and rejoinders. Watch The Addams Family and Addams Family Values on Amazon instant video.
Bonus Tip: Almost every show that takes place in contemporary times has a Halloween episode. My personal favorite is Beverly Hills, 90210 season 6: Gypsies, Cramps and Fleas.